Who said, “I find the idea of the super rich quite disgusting”?

Give up? It was shoemaker to the fairly well off, Monolo Blahnik, in the Wall Street Journal. 

“I find the idea of the super rich quite disgusting. I recently turned down a lot of money to create a mass-market type product. I don’t want to make that sort of money if I am polluting my brand.”

I hate to rain on Mr. Blahnik’s Don’t-Show-Me-The-Money Parade but this makes less sense than my four year old talking in his sleep about… Well, I couldn’t understand him but I think it had to do with dogs. Or flowers. Or ice cream. I don’t know. It didn’t make any sense at all. 

“Zim’s Ma” asked me a question: ”What about a word for when a parent imagines they hear a crying baby even when said baby is sleeping soundlessly?”  On a somewhat related note, I once wrote an essay for Babble about thinking I could hear my breast pump talking. That article is here and, in it, auditory illusions are discussed. But back to the imagined crying… PHANTOM CRY: It’s the cry that isn’t there. As a new mom, you get used to hearing your baby cry so often that sometimes you think you hear him when he’s not crying at all. It can be when you’re taking a shower, talking on the phone, blow drying your hair or even sleeping. Just try not to be too loud if you decide to check on your baby, because if he is sleeping and you wake him – then he really will start crying. (As, most likely, will you.)  Photo from Wikipedia. And, I am using it mainly for the pouting. Love the pouting.

“Zim’s Ma” asked me a question: ”What about a word for when a parent imagines they hear a crying baby even when said baby is sleeping soundlessly?” 

On a somewhat related note, I once wrote an essay for Babble about thinking I could hear my breast pump talking. That article is here and, in it, auditory illusions are discussed. But back to the imagined crying…

PHANTOM CRY: It’s the cry that isn’t there. As a new mom, you get used to hearing your baby cry so often that sometimes you think you hear him when he’s not crying at all. It can be when you’re taking a shower, talking on the phone, blow drying your hair or even sleeping. Just try not to be too loud if you decide to check on your baby, because if he is sleeping and you wake him – then he really will start crying. (As, most likely, will you.) 

Photo from Wikipedia. And, I am using it mainly for the pouting. Love the pouting.

I was lucky enough to be up this morning just a little before five a.m. If I had slept any later, I might have missed watching an informercial for the Bell Silver Sonic XL. (So, a special shout out to my one year old for the early wake up call!) What they say: “Small and lightweight, it looks like a wireless cell phone earpiece so no one will know you have sonic hearing.” What they mean: Use it to spy on people! Then, they give you two scenarios where the Bell Silver Sonic XL comes in super-duper handy! Informercial Scenario 1: A man overhears a conversation. It happens to be about HIM. What are they saying? “John’s a really nice guy.” Informercial Scenario 2: A woman in a bathing suit walks by and hears a conversation. It happens to be about HER. What are they saying? “Her body is amazing.” Yes. And yes. This is pretty much what everyone is saying about YOU behind your back. You’re a really nice person and your body is amazing. The only problem is that the ear piece you are using to spy on everyone makes you look like a total creep. 

I was lucky enough to be up this morning just a little before five a.m. If I had slept any later, I might have missed watching an informercial for the Bell Silver Sonic XL. (So, a special shout out to my one year old for the early wake up call!)

What they say: “Small and lightweight, it looks like a wireless cell phone earpiece so no one will know you have sonic hearing.”

What they mean: Use it to spy on people!

Then, they give you two scenarios where the Bell Silver Sonic XL comes in super-duper handy!

Informercial Scenario 1: A man overhears a conversation. It happens to be about HIM. What are they saying? “John’s a really nice guy.”

Informercial Scenario 2: A woman in a bathing suit walks by and hears a conversation. It happens to be about HER. What are they saying? “Her body is amazing.”

Yes. And yes. This is pretty much what everyone is saying about YOU behind your back. You’re a really nice person and your body is amazing. The only problem is that the ear piece you are using to spy on everyone makes you look like a total creep. 


Have you seen this yet? It’s pretty popular. It’s a Fisher-Price plastic case that turns your iPhone into a baby toy. As the New York Times says, “The hard plastic case is designed to appeal to a teething baby especially eager to bite your iPhone or iPod Touch. After you start your app of choice, you lock your device inside the case. The screen and home button are now protected behind a drool-proof clear plastic shield.” Yeah. Why give your six month old a cheap teether when you can hand them your expensive iPhone? And, why ask a restaurant for a booster seat if you have a laptop or iPad handy? Let your toddler just sit on your computer. Why use a coloring book if you have a flat screen television? Wrap your TV in big sheets of paper and lean it against the wall.  Looking for stickers for your kiddo? Have an alarm system installed! The company will give you some FREE stickers with the installation. 

Have you seen this yet? It’s pretty popular. It’s a Fisher-Price plastic case that turns your iPhone into a baby toy.

As the New York Times says, “The hard plastic case is designed to appeal to a teething baby especially eager to bite your iPhone or iPod Touch. After you start your app of choice, you lock your device inside the case. The screen and home button are now protected behind a drool-proof clear plastic shield.”

Yeah. Why give your six month old a cheap teether when you can hand them your expensive iPhone?

And, why ask a restaurant for a booster seat if you have a laptop or iPad handy? Let your toddler just sit on your computer.

Why use a coloring book if you have a flat screen television? Wrap your TV in big sheets of paper and lean it against the wall. 

Looking for stickers for your kiddo? Have an alarm system installed! The company will give you some FREE stickers with the installation. 

Why is this such a big deal? So, the guy may have wanted an “open marriage.” When my husband and I got married ten years ago, I told him I wanted to have an open marriage. He said, “You do?!” And I said, “Sure.” He asked, “Really?!!!  An open marriage?!!! You and me?!!! An open marriage!!!” I told him yes. I was sure. And what I meant, obviously, was that I wanted a marriage where we could tell each other anything. That’s what an open marriage is, right? There’s no other meaning, is there? Because if there is, then I’m in deep s—t.

Why is this such a big deal?

So, the guy may have wanted an “open marriage.” When my husband and I got married ten years ago, I told him I wanted to have an open marriage.

He said, “You do?!”

And I said, “Sure.”

He asked, “Really?!!!  An open marriage?!!! You and me?!!! An open marriage!!!”

I told him yes. I was sure. And what I meant, obviously, was that I wanted a marriage where we could tell each other anything.

That’s what an open marriage is, right? There’s no other meaning, is there? Because if there is, then I’m in deep s—t.