I’m going to talk about something that I don’t usually talk about on here. I’m going to talk about death.
And it’s not just me who doesn’t usually talk about it. It’s most of us. At least, it’s most of us until someone we love dies. And then, we need a place to talk about it. But, unfortunately, for most people, there aren’t a lot of places to turn.
Most of the time, when someone loses a loved one, they receive an outpouring of initial — I said, initial — support. They are asked how they are doing. They are brought meals. They are sent cards and letters.
Then a few weeks pass, and that’s usually it. That’s usually all there is. The next time they are greeted, it’s back to “What’s new?” and “What’s going on?”
But, of course, they are still grieving. And, the reality is that they will always still be grieving. And yet, as you and I know, there aren’t a lot of places for them to turn.
Well, this week, two friends changed that. They’ve launched a truly extraordinary site, “Modern Loss.” It’s a place to “share the unspeakably taboo, unbelievably hilarious, and unexpectedly beautiful terrain of navigating your life after a death.”
“This project,” they explain, “grew out of two friends’ separate experiences with sudden loss, and their struggle to find resources that weren’t too clinical, overtly religious, patronizing or, frankly, cheesy.”
You guys, please bookmark this site. If you need it today, it is there for you. If you need it in the future or want to recommend it to a friend, please remember that it exists. I’ve been clicking on essays and articles, and I think it’s unbelievably amazing.
I am proud to tell you that the co-founder of “Modern Loss” is my friend. Her name is Gabrielle Birkner. She’s a smart, talented journalist; a mother; and a beautiful person. And when I say beautiful — I certainly think she’s lovely to look at — but I’m talking about her heart.
I asked Gabrielle to explain why she and Rebecca founded “Modern Loss.”
"We both struggled, in the aftermath of our respective losses, to find others who ‘got it’ and content that spoke to us,” said Gabrielle.
"As one of my friends put it: ‘People are fear-avoidant,’ and that can make losing someone you love a very isolating experience. Finding camaraderie — and having a good cry, a good laugh or both — among people who have been there can be very healing."
With the creation of “Modern Loss,” Gabrielle and Rebecca have given the world a gift. And, I know that my language in this post is a bit flowery. But, I mean every word of it. I think there’s been a void. And I think they are filling it. I’m profoundly grateful to them for creating this site.
Well done, friends.