Oh Sh*t, I’m So Tired (A Poem for New Mothers)

The small hand on the clock points to the five.
The cities and the suburbs are quiet.
But me? I’ve been up for more than an hour.
Oh, isn’t being a new mom a riot?

At four a.m. my newborn got hungry.
I had to feed him to silence his fit.
Now he snores with breast milk dotting his lips. 
And I’m so tired I can hardly stand it.

Yes, I’m tired, exhausted and bitter.
Can’t you tell I’m at the end of my wits?
My poor brain is fried and my body hurts.
Sleep deprivation is truly the pits.

Everybody says to sleep when he sleeps.
Folks who say it think that they are brilliant.
But I need to eat, to bathe, and to pee.
Sleeping is hard to do with an infant.

Six uninterrupted hours would be great.
But I’d take four if my babe would permit.
Because when you’re a newborn’s open bar,
When you rest, you only rest for a bit.

Every time I sit down to eat dinner,
Or try crossing laundry off of my list,
Whenever I hope to call back a friend,
My son will cry and those cries are legit.

Wait! I’ll lie down and close my eyes right now,
Even if it is just for a minute.
I’ll do what they say: I’ll sleep when he sleeps!
Oh, never mind. He is awake now. Sh*t.

(Adapted from a previous post. I no longer have a newborn at home and have — thankfully —rediscovered sleeping.)

It’s Amazing How Much Kindness You Can Find When You’re Looking

“I’ve learned that with this type of heartbreak comes doubt and the ability to forget about the blessings that do surround you,” said Stephanie. “This page will serve as a reminder to all that life is beautiful.”

That’s what Stephanie wrote in an email to her friends and family about her new website. She started her site to honor the memory of her beautiful son, Rylan. He passed away from an infection on his twelfth day of life. He would have been six months old this week.

Stephanie’s website is a place to write about acts of kindness. It’s a place to write about something someone did for you. Or about something you did for someone else. It’s a place to make sure that no kindness goes unnoticed. For as Dr. Albert Schweitzer, Nobel Peace Prize winner, once said, “Nothing that is done for you is a matter of course.”

The website, Rylan’s Kindness Site, is just starting out. It is small but beautiful:

Noah, a little boy, left this message on the website: “I was at recess and noticed a boy sitting by himself so I went over to him and asked him if he wanted to play. We played four square together.”

Dalia “brought over our old kitchen set to a young couple starting out in their first house – they told us they were meeting this afternoon with the social worker to become foster parents – they are paying forward far more than a junky set of table and chairs!”

“Kindness is neither vague nor indefinable. It is as tangible as a chair,” Stephanie wrote in her initial email to her friends and loved ones. “It’s amazing how much kindness you can find when you’re looking.”

To participate in Stephanie’s project in honor of her son, visit Rylan’s Kindness Page.